Are you a Pick Me?

“Pick-Me” is a term used to describe behavior that one exhibits in order to get attention from others. Often you find yourself going out of your way to do things for a person who may not be interested in you. This term is often used towards women, but I believe that men can also be involved in this.

Doing things for the one you love is not pick-me behavior. Completely changing yourself to get someone to like you is. If you have fallen into this category before it is okay, you just shouldn’t allow it to become a part of your personality. Still not sure what I’m talking about? Here are some pick-me behavior examples below.

Comprising your values and standards.

This person should be able to take you as you are. If they are not able to accept it then someone else will. Keep your standards in place and don’t lower them just because you like someone.

Putting other people down for attention.

The worst thing you can do is lift yourself up by putting others down. Even if you are doing this in a joking manner this will say more about you than the person you are talking about. There are other ways to bring light to yourself within a conversation without degrading others. For example, if you are passionate about something talk about that.

Overextending yourself by doing things that this person would NEVER do for you.

This is pretty self-explanatory. Anything that is one-sided will only give you a headache in the end. Having boundaries for yourself will help you to avoid seeming desperate.

Changing your entire persona to please the person that you’re with.

Going back to the first example, you should always be yourself. It takes more effort to pretend that you’re somebody that you’re not. If you feel like you can’t be yourself around this person, they are not for you. If you are guilty of doing this every time you meet a new person, some serious internal work needs to be done.

Moral of the story: Having pick-me behavior is a toxic trait. It might work for you in the beginning but in the long run, you are only hurting yourself.

Have you ever seen or experienced this before? Let me know in the comments!