Finding Your Voice: A Letter to My Teenage Self
According to the dictionary, the word “voice” means the sound or sounds uttered through living creatures' mouths, especially of human beings in speaking, shouting, singing, etc. However, the voice to which I will be referring today throughout our conversation is not limited to the sounds we make to be heard and understood by others, but rather one which we hear and know for ourselves. This particular voice is your consciousness, meaning you are the only person that can hear it. Your voice consists of your inner thoughts, personalized to your standards and boundaries.
When it came to my voice, I finally recognized it and began to utilize it somewhere between middle school and high school. Growing up, I was quiet, laid back, and easy-going, but never a problem. It just seemed like for other people, that this was a problem. Kids will really hate on you for any reason!
During this process, I found my voice while constantly having to defend myself. Whether it was telling someone to leave me alone or just having to explain my upset in general. I had an incident in middle school where I reached my breaking point. In the middle of class, I cursed someone out because they would not leave me alone. My teacher saw what happened and I got pulled out of class but instead of getting in trouble, he recognized that this was not my typical behavior and wanted to know how to help.
It was definitely a struggle for me to stand up for myself but looking back, I am happy that I went through that.
What I did not realize then was that I was building my character. Finding my authentic voice truly made me the person that I am today. I am grateful to be in a position where I can recognize that and assist others on their journey.
Below is a list of some ways in which you can let your voice be heard:
Correct people when they offend you
Speak on things that you are passionate about
Send back your food when it is not being prepared correctly
Apply for jobs and opportunities you know that you are capable of doing even if you don’t have the experience
Ask for what you need and what
Wear hairstyles and clothing that make you feel great
Raise your hand in class or meetings
Not allowing others to guilt trip you into doing things you are not comfortable with
Stating your opinion even if it is different from others
Speak to your therapist or school counselor
Taking care of yourself first
Not letting your happiness depend on other people
Not holding yourself responsible for things beyond your control
Once you find your voice it will not be the end of having to use it, you will have to keep it going! If I thought that after my incident in middle school that that would be the last time I’d have to defend myself, I would be sadly mistaken. You constantly will be put in positions where you have to show up for yourself.
When you start using your voice you may notice that people will start treating you differently. You will be sounding and moving differently so that will be alarming to other people. That’s totally fine! If after you make yourself heard on whatever standard or boundary you have for yourself and it creates some distance between you and other people then so be it. You are your first priority!
If you feel as though you have not found your voice just yet, that is totally fine! This is a slow-growing process that shouldn’t be rushed. As long as you are trying in some way, that’s all that matters.
Would you add anything to my list? Leave a comment on a way you think that you can let your voice be heard!